I recently saw Pixar's new animated movie UP. The critics and audiences seem to unanimously agree that it is a pretty remarkable movie. A certain eloquent movie critic, Carrie Rickey of the Philadelphia Inquirer, to be more specific, declares, "How much do I love this movie? If it were mathematically possible I would give it 5 stars out of 4!"
Carrie Rickey, Philadelphia InquirerWell Carrie, unfortunately I live in physical reality where your mathematical or theoretical abilities to dole out celestial objects to movies of poor taste does not exist. Let me explain:
Gamma, the poor excuse of a bulldog in UPHow can I even for a second continue to watch a movie where an English Bulldog would be subservient to another dog, especially a Doberman Pinscher; everyone knows you can't trust a German leader. Now let's move on to "Gamma's" intellectual capacity... to put it bluntly, he's retarded. He is easily distracted by squirrels, yet when a feast of immense proportions is being prepared by other dogs he does not take part. This is just poor, unrealistic storytelling that constantly pulled me out of the story and could never let me for a second empathize with the old guy and his sidekick, humpty dumpty.
So to you Carrie, and Pixar, sorry for bringing you down off your high house, but MY taste is good, and I like my movies, like I like my meat; gritty and authentic.
Yankee
Yankee, a real English Bulldog with a taste for the finer things in life
No comments:
Post a Comment